holding on

It is PERFECTLY cloudy today. I see giant white beings in a dark blue sky and it is smellin' like rain. I don't know where to begin with my thoughts and process-so much is happening around me now-and so very fast. I feel as if I'm turning in circles, all of my world blurred into a steamy spiral. Now that our house is in the process of selling and the new house will not be ready for maybe six months or more (who can know these things?) my search for a safehaven for my family and impending new arrival has been turned up to warp. Desperation is about to set in, and all of my creative energy is being funneled into asking myself what I really want to see manifest. It seems in my life that there is always so much to consider. I try really hard to keep things simple, but no matter how hard I try, there are unknowns at every crossroad. Having chosen to keep many furry friends who are a huge priority to us, their safety and welfare must always be considered. My own sanity can't be overlooked-we have a "when pixie's happy everybody's happy" sort of policy around here. That may sound indulgent, but just come for a visit when I am sorting through the rubble and you will quickly understand why this works. Relocating into the great unknown, not knowing where the new tot will be in his first days, wanting to provide security for all of us-significant B and I are feeling a bit stretched at the seams. When I face these great transitions, and I have done so a few times, the recurring message from my magical help within is always to TRUST. It may seem funky as hell today, but likely tomorrow will be clearer. I think I can hold on until then.


Blogger Kerstin said...

I am amazed at how many people seem to be on the move these days; and for none of them these seem to be small transitions, either. Just like Christine and Keri you, too, have a nice way with words, very articulate and readable. I must remember what you say about TRUST because I've been in a funk for a few months now over the uncertainties of my husband's relocation back to the States, two failed offers on my property in England, facing bankruptcy, US immigration issues and jobless since July. What unsettles me most is the lack of control I've been feeling, although, finally, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find it comforting to read about other people's transitions, thanks for sharing yours :)

8/16/2005 03:44:00 PM  

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