tee pee at sarah jane's, 2006. I am running across some of the best questions. It is no surprise that most of them come from women in the coaching profession. I'm all about coaching, I think it is one of the most useful tools of our time. I have a local personal coach that I still call on from time to time, who helped me traverse some major life transition icebergs a few years ago and I can't tell you how her listening skills and resources impacted my life. To me, coaching is one of those magic wands that when waved, knit your best ideas about what you want to do together with the essence of who you are to help get you on the path you want to be on, one that authentically honors YOU. Something about this time we live in has a vast number of us wanting to "be on our true path". Ever thought about why that is? Laura Berman Fortgang was recently featured on a Loudenclear podcast, and though I am not necessarily looking for a New Life Direction, some things she said prompted me to read through a couple of chapters of Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction. This led to curling up with my journal, putting a babe on the boob and writing down (with the clever use of a pillow and a dog's back) some answers to the following LBF questions: What do people come to me for? (Hiding in these answers is sometimes the essence of who we are, unless we hire ourselves to people to do things we don't like, in which case we might need to examine our boundaries.) What have people said I should be? (Again, because your aunt said you should be a botanist doesn't mean you should run out and be one, but LBF encourages the reader to look for the WHO inside this-like is it your sense of wonder about the natural world that led your aunt to say that? What does that say about who you are? Does it provide clues that can guide you to a more authentic expression of yourself in work or just life in general? *She writes about goldmining not for the title or the "package" but for who you get to be when you are doing these things* I found this really helpful. List the things you do or past jobs (the title) on one side, then list the essence of those things on the other. Here are a couple of mine: *massage therapist: encourages health, well being, balance and insight into the body in others. *artist: create with color, create beauty for visual enjoyment, create a connection between people. Who was I in the past that I liked? Disliked? *I like who I am in excitable situations, I sometimes get really courageous and wise. In the birth of Miles, I did not think even for a moment that I should have gone to a hospital and received painkillers or interventions. I liked who I was when I grieved my miscarriage-I was vulnerable, yet strong and very willing to find the light at the end of the tunnel. *I didn't like who I was when I worked in a thankless job as a manufacturing administrator. It felt like I was always seeking an authoritative male's approval and though it made me feel secure during that time, I don't like that I consciously participated in the business for as long as I did. Doing these exercises gave me a tremendous sense of my own essence, as I think I tend to look at those things I choose to do as self serving. It also reminded me that what I do has meaning to me, and that is just simply affirming. Just for fun, tell me who you were in the past that you liked. We often don't see our true selves clearly enough. I want to see you! Peaceout.


Blogger The Whole Self said...

in the past, i was always "crazy nina"...the girl good for a laugh, always doing something "alternative", the first with the nose ring, the one with dyed hair, never shaving her legs or pits. refusing to accept the acceptable views on sexuality.
people around me were curious, most were charmed, some were repulsed. while in some circles these things don't seem strange, in my world they were viewed as different or weird.

i always liked being who i was back then...never really struggled too much with hating who i was experimenting with being. now i'm a kind of mellowed out version of who i was...more like a married mama version of who i was. except now i shave.

love your questions and your honest look at yourself and the world around you, mama. thanks for the probes...loved thinking about the nina of the past.

5/24/2006 11:29:00 AM  
Blogger Feisty said...

In the past I was a soprano in my high school's elite a cappela choir. I miss dressing up in my fancy black dress and singing tight harmonies. I miss performing -- there's nothing else like the thrill of standing in front of an audience and singing your heart out.

5/25/2006 09:18:00 AM  
Blogger Swirly said...

Oooh...those are good questions.

Who I was in the past that I liked? I like that I was fearless in many ways. When I started Swirly it didn't even occur to me it wouldn't work. Well, it might have occurred to me but I didn't care - I did it anyway. I like that I created big dreams for myself and made them real. I like that I was once able to ride my bike for 50 miles. I like that I used to be able to sleep in until noon.

Peaceout. Word to your motha.

5/26/2006 10:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

I know you wrote "peaceout"...but there's been so much buzz this week about American Idol that when I read it, I 'heard' "Seacrest...out"...which surprised me. :) LOVE the questions. These days I'm getting to use some of the parts of me I like best...except instead of having to deal with talent egos (in TV production), I get to deal with kids...get to use my production skills...but to make a bunch of kids feel good about themselves. Very cool, I must say.

(Excellent post.)

5/27/2006 03:27:00 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

I love this post (and i keep coming back to read it)
in the past i was dancer...a ballerina learning how to dance on point shoes. i love this about myself. now i teach yoga...so i guess i still dance...
in the past i thought i could debate (i wanted to be an attorney) and i love that in high school i was fearless and had such courage of my beliefs that i did not stumble when questioned, instead i spoke with fierce passion. i don't really want to debate now, but i do wish i felt more fearless when confronted with someone who questions who i am or what i believe.
(thanks for this invitation...i could keep writing on this one and will in my journal)

5/27/2006 11:35:00 PM  

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