another one of those days

my mood is the opposite of this lovely arrangement of tarts. not a good day to post, but bugger it! i'm going to do it anyway and make no apologies. i'm grumpy as hell. my baby won't sleep, he's nursing every hour and i'm becoming one of those little narcoleptic dachsunds featured on the discovery channel that crash on their faces when they are offered a treat by their trainer. the strain is more than they can bear... sleeplessness is the least of my worries. miles has a rash all over his chest and back-one day it appears to improve, the next day it is red and spreading. i took him to the pediatrician yesterday (i'm not fond of most western doctors in my area, so we only go in dire situations, opting for herbalists and the like), and this guy tells me to give my seven month old adult benadryl in some juice or ice cream. wtf?? my child is lucky to get rice cereal at his age. he will most certainly not be eating ice cream. or juice! what a complete waste of my time and money. seems we also didn't add miles to brandon's insurance policy in time (precious HMO) and so i had to actually pay out of pocket for this stellar advice. wonderful. i'm projecting all over the place. i'm sensitive to things people say to me, barking at B left and right, eating too much sugar and just generally feeling out of balance. i want to cut my hair and for some stupid reason, i'm scared to. i just cut it on friday and i love it, but i want to hack off more. what is this about? tonite i was in the glider with miles, far beyond his bedtime, trying to get him to sleep, and this whopper cacophany of coyote sounds kicked up. i stepped out onto the porch as my own three dogs gathered round my feet, struggling to get out the door. i listened quietly. i'm pretty sure what i heard was the voice of one celebrating coyote. one wild dog's song bouncing off the canyon walls, sounding like a pack of twenty... that dratted trickster always lets me know when i'm lost in the details. time to step back and see the big picture again.... i have received four emails where the typist pointed out to me that she accidentally made a "freudian slip": one wrote "sos" instead of "xox", one typed "margarita beads" instead of "mardi gras beads", another wrote "you have every idea" instead of "you have no idea"...and all of them TOLD me about their slips. this is just in the last two days. i told B everything felt a bit haywire and he said with concern, "is pluto in retrograde or something?" i'm looking forward to a quiet, relaxing weekend. what're you doing for peace and balance lately?


Anonymous Julie said...

Journaling - old school, with a pen and notebook. Lots and lots of journaling. It's my therapy. When all else fails, I crochet.

I hope your sweet babe is doing much better and that this weekend brings you rest and replenishment.

4/28/2006 02:41:00 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Well....this morning at 5:17 AM (after yet another night much like yours)I went to the living room and woke up my snoring (ungodly snoring) husband and said, "Come get Satch...I need to lie in bed for at least 30 minutes". I was hoping to fall back to sleep, but the headache and chills from my exhaustion prevented that. Still, it was a moment of relaxation that was all my own.

4/28/2006 03:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pixie, my dearest, you are NOT ALONE! Madam has been doing the "waking every 45 minutes to an hour" thing for the last two weeks.

You are doing a spectacular job of keeping sane in that--just the fact that you can write at all, because I basically COULD NOT.

Adult benedryl? Yeah...no. I don't blame you for being peeved at that bad advice. Madam had a rash on her back for several months (in fact, most of her life). My doc told me to put cetaphil lotion on her after her bath everyday, and you know...it went away completely. Does the doc think Miles is having an allergic reaction?

I know what you mean about being sensitive and projecting. One of the hardest things to do when you're feeling so sleep deprived is to remember that everything is filtered through being sleep-deprived, and not project that miserable feeling into a belief that your life isn't working, or your art isn't working, or you aren't working.

Because you ARE working. You are just not getting enough sleep to sustain a person. I hope Miles lets you rest SOON.

What am I doing for peace? Thanks to you and Swirly, working on acceptance...voluptious, embracing, exuberant ACCEPTANCE.

4/28/2006 10:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Holly said...

For peace and balance... I read blogs like yours! Even when they are "grumpy as hell" because this makes them reverborate with the truth of life and reminds us that our ups are so sweet because our downs have such depth.

I hope you and your babe have a soothing weekend without sugar (ice-cream, juice... jeez!).

For balance (when I am grouchy):
- spilling with friends
- bouldering around on rocks - sometimes feeling scared and like all i can do is "hang on" helps me stop thinking and forces me to breathe and know i am a "rock star"
- going away and having space so that I don't harm others when I am feeling like a grouch
- staying in the tub until i am a prune
- taking a nap
... I could go on

You will feel better again soon - just dont eat those tarts!


4/28/2006 11:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For Miles-there is a topical thing--made by Aveeno and it had oatmeal in it--that was great with a baby rash my youngest sister had.

All of this shifting...sounds kind of like me, lately, except I have been blaming it on the reiki. ;o)

Hang in there, lady, and call a friend (raises hand to volunteer) if you just need to talk about something else for awhile.


4/28/2006 04:00:00 PM  
Blogger Goddess of Leonie said...

hey possum
i feel like that a week ago... some kinda retrograde funk, whatever it was.
i deeply dig how you say - what is this all about?
the coyote sings to you...

4/28/2006 06:07:00 PM  
Blogger tariansdream said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/29/2006 12:31:00 AM  
Blogger tariansdream said...

OIY my sweet lovely Pixie "/ do you analyze oh so much during the frustration??

try some lavender with almond oil or just pure on mr. rashy poo... is he itchy? if so adding a bit of chamomile is good... either way these may help... plus the natural calming effects might help momma too?

All these wonderous blogging suggestions can just be tossed in the crapper with Adult Benadryl too! AND!! That might be a relaxing bit oh freshness!!!

Sometimes... it feels good to just smack something ... I have a punching bag if you find yourself in the neighborhood ")


4/29/2006 12:37:00 AM  
Anonymous gangie said...

tarts, sharts, farts--you're doing the right thing pixie girl by unloading your heavy knapsack via the blog that we so anticipate. we're always glad to listen and help in any way we can. a pox on dr schmuck-- you are the only healer sugar booger needs.

4/29/2006 04:29:00 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Oh sugar snap! I'm sorry that you've had a hard time lately. I wish I was there to babysit so you could get in a little rest.
Today I am not relaxed at all! I am packing for my trip, filling my head with wedding ideas and picking my puppy up every 5 minutes because I will miss him so much the next 5 days!
Lately I have been doing yoga and I just love it. I also love walking outside, writing in my journal and collaging. If I think I may be on the verge of a meltdown, I just call up my therapist for a little tune up!

I love you!

Julie J

4/29/2006 08:51:00 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

i just read this now. it's been two days since you posted this.

i hope you've been able to lay your precious head down on a soft pillow and rest well.

if only in could come over to help...

big warm huge gushy hug to you.

4/29/2006 11:21:00 PM  
Blogger The Whole Self said...

your photo and the caption under it is priceless. seriously cracked me up for a good couple of moments.

here's a sample conversation between our babes:

"miles, let's stay up all night drinking milk and partying! and let's get some weird rash thingies and freak out the mommas!" -pum

"ok, pum....i'm surprised the doctorguy didn't tell my mum to just give me a beer to wash down my adult-strength benadryl! hello!" -miles

keep your head focused....and pretty soon you'll be tarting it up.

4/30/2006 03:46:00 AM  
Blogger Majeak Ann said...

wow...yummy picture, all delicious!*~*

-Marjorie Ann

4/30/2006 08:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i always want to chop off my hair when i am ready for a change. lack of sleep alone makes me a crazy loon.
i too am hearing the coyotes at night....peace and balance? im founding it in being in the woods. wishing miles and you and calmness, good sleeps, and vanishing rashes....love jen gray

5/01/2006 04:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and notice i wrote "im founding it" instead of "im finding it"... and i threw in an extra "and" just for the hell of it.

5/01/2006 04:58:00 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

just checking in...

how is your heart coyote love? missing you.

giving you a squeeze and sending you much sisterwomyn strength from here. xoxoxoxo

5/01/2006 08:26:00 AM  
Blogger Swirly said...

When I need peace and balance I think of my friends, and this always sets me straight. Except when I think of you, then I am set a wee bit more lesbian. [hardee-har-har.]

No slip-ups here - I LOVE YOU.

5/01/2006 09:17:00 PM  

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