5/11/2006

as good as it gets

what if everything i have right now is all i will ever have? what if this is the best i will ever feel? what if the formal education i have now is the most i will ever get? what if my destiny is sitting right in front of me, so obvious i can't see it? what if no letters ever follow my name to indicate my qualifications, credibility? what if i am already who i am supposed to be? what if i am missing the point by mistaking yearning for ambition?

8 Comments:

Anonymous Jen said...

Your questions strike a cord in me today for they fit so many of the swirling, frantic thoughts that I have been having.

Because of all of my swirling, frantic thoughts I have spent much time trying to learn a new mantra.

I am where I need to be now.

I chant it now in the hope that I will actually believe with my whole being at some point.. but maybe its ok that I don't always know.... maybe that is the point. But I do know that I don't want to constantly be longing and looking for the next, the better, the "real" thing I am meant to do.... But that is really hard to do...but what if it is supposed to be ... and what does one do with that....

Thank you for your wonderful words.....

5/12/2006 03:20:00 AM  
Blogger Ally Bean said...

what if my destiny is sitting right in front of me, so obvious i can't see it?

this thought plagues me to no end. it seems like it should be here-- but where is it?

and i love jen's mantra. that's what i need to focus on.

thanks for the thoughts.

5/12/2006 04:47:00 AM  
Blogger spectacle said...

YOU HAVE JUST CRAWLED INTO MY BRAIN AND DESCRIBED THE THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BEEN GOING ON FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS. CAN I NOT JUST BE OKAY WITH THE THINGS THAT ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU TO SIT AND TALK OVER TEA.

5/12/2006 09:07:00 AM  
Blogger Swirly said...

Are you reading my mind?

5/12/2006 10:09:00 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

My first impulse was to answer all of your questions for you...to show you how wonderful you are and how important the work you do is...but you already know all of that. I hear you. I love you. I am here for you.

Julie J

5/12/2006 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

indeed, what if...

5/12/2006 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger Lucille said...

I was thinking the same thing---about you reading my mind.

Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow, come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all...

That speaks to me of what you are saying, about embracing that who I am supposed to be is who I am today, that everything is as it should be at this moment in time (how scary)... and I am trying to be that giant silent strong tree in the center of the maelstrom...

Isn't it wonderful to know we're not alone in all of it? Even if everyone around us in our own private lives seem to have it all together, there are people out there journeying too...

Thank you for sharing...

5/15/2006 09:09:00 AM  
Blogger tariansdream said...

So... I've been trying to respond to this for a few days...

what if it is?
what if it is not?

You make me think tooooo "fracken" much lady!

Ambition...
I think there is just so much "WE" as a community... YOU as a mother, healer, artist, teacher, inspiration... strive to accomplish; parenting, art, self work, children's lives, gardening, healthy living, education, environment, animal work the list is endless... its overwhelming and we get lost in the shuffle... what was the goal?

Where was the finish line? What was most important?

And... are any of them REALLY?

letters behind your name?
formal education?

do you "feel" good right now?

breath... deep breaths, focus... jen has it...

"I am where I need to be now"...

and that's perfectly wonderful.

5/15/2006 12:51:00 PM  

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