I've talked with friends quite a bit in the past year about keeping up in the bloggie world. Some complaints are that posting takes too much time, others wonder if there is anything unique to express in this medium anymore, others still have discovered major issues related to values rising up within them. The question seems to be, Is Blogging Really Worth My Energy and Time?
What we get out of blogging is likely to be what keeps us tapping away nights, spilling the beans on ourselves, sharing our favorites lists and posting encouraging comments on our buddies' sites.
One aspect of blogging that stands the curious hairs up on my neck is how we perceive other bloggers.
When I'm really enjoying someone's writings, I think it is because I'm appreciating them, but also, it is because they are mirroring something in me that I like-and perhaps want to experience or emphasize more in myself. Maybe this is where the notion of a support community comes from. We all like to be acknowledged that we are not alone. We comment to lift one another, and this feels so good. I think which blogs we tune into say volumes about who we are, perhaps more than about the blogger herself. Hmm.
Pink Coyote is not always fun, uplifting or inspiring. I do not often have artsy events to send you to or crafty people to introduce you to. I'm not very cool. I don't know very much about new, good books and movies. I'll bet it can even be a bit of a downer to come here sometimes. I use my blog to work through my junk, get your feedback, problem solve my life, and share the joy of my son with the world. I seldom prepare my writings ahead of time, editing myself and trying to get it perfect. This blog is usually about process, not content or results.
This is so because I am who I am. I do try to be fearless here, which could be perceived as reckless or unsympathetic, I suppose. I am certain about many things, which could come off as arrogant or pushy. I am self-reflective, which could be read as narcissistic and obsessive. I've got a furry bee in my bonnet about having clean fights and relationships with loved ones. This is because I am somewhat new to the idea. The material here will resonate with you or it will not.
I'm going to list a few things below that I think you need to know about me in order to decide if you will keep coming here. I don't want to mislead anyone (else)!
*I think you will like to come here if you like to look at your own shit. If you don't, you probably won't have much fun here, because I'm always pointing my shit and your shit out. If you want to change your ingrained ways of thinking and acting, especially to avoid damaging your kids (and mates)-we're going to get along great. If one wants flowery smoke blown up one's ass about how old dogs can't learn new tricks, one might want to find another blog to visit. ( I say that with a great and floral love).
*I think you will enjoy this blog if you make an effort to put your children's needs ahead of your own. We are on the same page if you sold your expensive house to have a baby and take some time off (not three months, but like, several years) and enjoy this time you'll never get back.
*If you are a single parent and you like what I have to say, but have to work, there is lots to talk about, but that isn't always clear on this blog. Let's talk about alternatives to daycare , a bonfire topic in my heart.
*I'm no expert. But I have a lot of big opinions. I am also curious about other ways of thinking and doing stuff. I love dialogue and loathe lurking. Speak up! You are not going to hurt my feelings. Tell me if you think I'm full of it.
*I am not even close to a perfect mom, artist or person. Blogs sometimes can be illusive that way-I know I'm not bloody perfect, but you may not know or think that based on what I show and tell you. If you could see the hairy cheerios under my diswasher (oh yeah, my kid eats 'em), or know that I sometimes feel bored and antsy hanging out with a fourteen month old all the days of the week, you might think differently about me. Because I'm obsessive compulsive and it shows in my writing, you might never guess who keeps company with dustbunnies around here.
*We, as readers, do not know what state a blogger is in when she posts or comments. I think some of us write our blogs just after a meditation and a massage, when our chakras are happily spinning and all the world is in bloom. Or at least that is how some of us come off. I come here and write in order to find grace and clarity. Readers have no idea what it took for me to get to that pretty place.
*If one likes things stated in a politically correct way, this will not be one's favorite stop. I know it isn't cool to say moms should stay home and be a baby's first, best and most interested teacher. But this is what I think parenthood should look like, with very few exceptions. This may alienate many readers, as one woman pointed out in my last post. I can live with this. I truly mean no harm to anyone's ego. I don't think a reader will like to hear what I have to say anyway if she has no intention of looking at the possible repercussions of handing her job over to someone else.
*Sometimes I post while I am in a big, nasty shadow. I know others who do this, too. I think that if we can assume anything about a blogger, it is that she has good days and bad. She has graceful days and slippy banana-peel days. Assuming a blogger shares your values is a dangerous enterprise, investing yourself emotionally in that assumption is unwise, methinks. Yikes. I personally, am in a radical healing process righty right now. That is bound to come through here looking good, bad and ugly.
Some of you remind me of and validate what I stand for. Some of you give me a buzzy, inspired feeling because you are spectacular poets and crafters. Some of you blow flowery smoke my way. Some of you are working that deep pain, turning it over and over, bravely showing up each day for it, and I greatly admire the underbelly shares. Until you are emptied and complete, I will be your witness. Here is a good place to thank you for being my mirror and witness, and sharing the nougaty centers of you.
I use this blog to help me look at the unsettling ephemera I see within me and around me. I believe deep within that only goldmining produces gold. A genuinely blessed life seldom falls from the sky. Sifting through rubble takes a hell of a lot more courage than avoiding it; I think cultivating this particular brand of courage can set a person up for feeling whole. I don't really give a rats about looking pretty while I do it.