There is a strong motivating force working on my heels to keep me moving forward into the unknown. I know that potential lies there, awaiting my arrival. I am no longer in the beginning of this growth cycle, but somewhere in the middle. I will soon find a bountiful treasure, as I've been picking up threads leading to it for some time now. It can only lead me to more pitfalls, then more treasure. I don't mind that some truths are being withheld from me, I think they may scare me off of my path anyway. I'm exhausted from thinking, working, feeling all of the messages my body has for me. But I can't stop working. Thought for the day: Chickenshit makes mighty good fertilizer. Reading: The Drama of the Gifted Child, Alice Miller Mary Jane's Ideabook Cookbook Lifebook: For the Farmgirl in All of Us, Mary Jane Butters The House at Pooh Corner "Pooh tried to think of something he would say, but the more he thought, the more he felt that there is no real answer to "Ho-ho!" said by a Heffalump in the sort of voice this Heffalump was going to say it in. "I shan't say anything," said Pooh at last. "I shall just hum to myself, as if I was waiting for something."


Blogger FlipFlop said...

Oh Pixie! You have once again described the growth process with such deft and beauty. I honor you for working through the stuff of life and being willing to wade through the chicken shit to the other side (and I really appreciate the double entendre here).

But, isn't it hard though when you are there in the middle of it? No luxury of staying in that comfortable known place (however dysfunctional it may be) Because once you discover it no longer fits, you have to go; there is no pretending! And then there you are in the middle of it all without the benefit of hindsight. Stuck with all of these new thoughts and behaviors that don't feel quite right.

But, then... the light!

It always comes.

- - -

I adore MaryJane Butter's book and had the pleasure of interviewing her when it first came out. She is truly one of the loveliest people I’ve met and I think of her often. She rocks. I have always wanted to go to her Bed and Breakfast or do a FarmStay - check 'em out if you haven't already: http://www.maryjanesfarm.org/

Be well and keep on truckin' towards that light!

- Holly (who is hopped up on caffeine and Friday afternoon antsiness)

2/09/2007 02:24:00 PM  
Blogger Ally Bean said...

The wisdom of the ages is in Pooh books. This reminds me that I really need to reread them right about now. Don't mind me, I'll just be humming over here in the corner!!

2/09/2007 02:45:00 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

It's so true, flipflop - once you know there is inner work to be done, once you glimpse the dark cavern just beyond, you can't stay put anymore. To put it poetically, it's scary shit but in we must go! I'm in the middle of such a cavern now, and although it's damn uncomfortable I'll take it (almost) any day over the "comfort" of not being in touch with these depths.

Pixie, thank you again for laying it out there for us to share. Now I'm going to go buy that Mary Jane Butters book!

2/09/2007 06:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Gemma said...

The only Miller book I've read is _For Your Own Good: hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence_. It was a real eye-opener, and has made me look toward attachment parenting and non-violent conflict resolution methods of training children, should I ever be blessed to have some. Even in a childhood that is not clinically abusive, there can be so much that is cruel that must be recognized and overcome. Miller is so good. I'll have to check out _DotGC_.

2/15/2007 12:33:00 PM  

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